When I’m the Busiest

In 2, 3, 4

Out 2,3, 4

“Just breathe” They say, as if I’m not already trying to do that

But my heart is racing to the beat of a marching band

And there’s a force holding my lungs hostage

 

“Just breathe” like it’s the most simple thing in the world

And usually it is

We don’t even think about it

Until something is keeping us from doing it

 

In 2, 3, 4

Out 2, 3, 4

And the only thing I want at that moment

Is to get away from all of these people

Because I’m raw and unfiltered and in trouble

 

“Just breathe” but how does one

Who’s drowning just breathe?

There’s water washing over my head

My legs are kicking fruitlessly, my hands reaching to the sky

 

In 2, 3, 4

Out 2, 3, 4

And I have to remind myself that there’s nothing out to get me

But fight or flight has kicked in and it’s too late

My hands are numb

My face is tingling

 

“Just breathe”

“It’ll be okay”

I know, shut up, I’m not five, I’m not new to this

That’s all I want to say, but words are stuck in my throat

And there’s these cold, clammy hands

The hands of dread and paralyzing fear

Keeping me from doing anything

 

It doesn’t come at 2am, when there’s nothing going on

It comes at 2pm when I have things to do

For no reason, and with no cause

It comes when I’m the busiest

 

“Run RUN” my body is screaming

My feet are glued to the ground though

I know that there are tears running down my face

But I don’t feel them

 

And just as suddenly as it’s appeared

I’m okay again, like it’s never even happened

I have to sit down, because I’m shaky and exhausted

But I’m okay

 

Just breathe

In 2, 3, 4

Out 2, 3, 4

Everything will be okay

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